For My Mother
by Deona Lindholm
Summary: When there's someone trying to intrude on the Shinigami Realm, Spears crosses space, time and plane to investigate. What he finds is what nobody expects and changes the rules of what is possible. Consider this story what you will. Final story, Retirement Announcement inside!


_For My Mother_

 _A.N.: On April 13, 2015, my mother died after a 7 year long battle with cancer. I have multiple reasons for writing this story. Some may see this as S.I., some may see it as fully fiction, others may see it as a tribute...while other readers will see this as something else altogether. All I will say is view it as you will._

 _One other thing: As of the moment this story is posted, I am officially and permanently retiring from writing altogether. It's just not in me anymore, my failure with Soul's Refrain is a testament to that. Also, the story SR has been permanently deleted from this website. It will be orphaned on AO3, as I have sent it to the only person I trust with it. If she choses to do the story herself, you'll see it in some fashion. If not, it's lost forever._

 _Goodbye._

William T. Spears was, to put it mildly, quite irritated and puzzled.

For the previous week and a half, there had been repeated disturbances in the Shinigami Realm. In the afternoon and evenings, the walls of London Dispatch would tremble, be still, then tremble again, in that pattern continuously. Most of the workers were unnerved by what was going on. More than once, bookcases, files, items on shelves and various items would go flying, causing various kinds of havoc.

At first, Spears himself was unaffected, so he had classified the reports as mischief by either Knox or...Rhea help him, Sutcliff. He had acted accordingly (with lectures and overtime). Both had denied it, but he didn't believe either one.

That, however, didn't last for long. Half a week after it began, right after lunchtime, the walls in William's office began to tremble.

"Hm? What in the...?"

The walls began to shake, in what looked like a pattern. At the same time, he felt something rather...unusual.

He took in a breath of surprise; there were two life energies far away that he could sense, though at times, they seemed to be one and the same. One was human...and the other was what shocked him.

A shinigami, one that most certainly wasn't Knox or Sutcliffe.

The two beings were, if he was right, trying to get into his realm...into his Dispatch.

Shaken, but schooling his features into place, Spears managed to type up a report, had it sent off...and then called in Grell and Knox.

The pair came in, looking rather sullen.

"What's up _now_ , boss? More overtime for us?" the blonde asked, barely keeping his tone civil.

"No, Knox...actually, I called you both in here...for two things. One, the overtime I assigned on you two for the disturbances in Dispatch recently is as of now rescinded."

"Oh? What happened, Willy dear? You normally don't rescind tings like that unless-"

"-also...I owe you both an apology." This was said with a more abashed tone.

That brought both of the employees into silence for a few moments.

"A few moments ago...the disturbances that had been affecting everyone else in the Dispatch started occurring in my office."

"Tha' explains why we haven't felt the outer walls shake today," Ronald said quietly. "Just what's goin' on?"

William's face and tone reverted to back-to-business as he replied,"I believe that one or two beings from the outside are trying to intrude on our realm. I felt the life energies: A human and one of us."

"Holy shi-"

"Language, Knox!"

"Why would a Reaper be trying to bring a mortal here?"

"I do not know...but I intend to find out."

"How?"

"I'll get permission from Upper Management and track this duo down myself. Though, I may have to involve a Higher Being to do it."

0000000000

Within a few short days, Spears found paperwork on his desk, marked urgent and from Upper Management.

 _To: William T. Spears, Manager, London Dispatch_

 _From: Cafferty, Jacob, Upper Management_

 _Re: Foreign Intrusion at L.D._

 _Spears,_

 _This news of disturbances at London Dispatch is rather disturbing, especially concerning what we've discovered from our own investigation shortly after your report._

 _It is just as you said: The life energies of a Shinigami and a mortal were confirmed, and they are trying repeatedly to intrude upon the London Dispatch. To be exact, it is extremely likely that the one the pair are attempting to reach is you._

 _You are hereby ordered to find them, investigate the matter and put an end to the unauthorized intrusion attempts. Since it is possible that the pair may be out of our planetplane, we will send a guide that will assist you in that manner._

 _Jacob Cafferty,_

 _Upper Management, Shinigami Dispatch Society._

0000000000

That was how he now found himself irritated and puzzled. His "guide" came in the form of two beings, a boy and a girl, that looked to be no older than twelve years old, but acted much older. The children both carried hourglasses and staves, while Spears himself carried his Scythe.

" _We'll supply the guides...under one condition."_

" _And that would be?" William had asked archly._

" _In one of the streams, your kin, the Shinigami...are having trouble trying to figure out a mortal woman, named Deona Lindholm. In one of the American Dispatches, they've nicknamed her 'Enigma'."_

" _Dare I ask why?"_

" _She's come up on the To-Die list several times. The first time, the Reaper on the scene couldn't collect her...said his scythe was actually repelled, then shattered. Since then, every time she comes up on the lists, she's also pre-marked as 'Allowed to Live'. The only thing they're allowed to do is monitor her and try to figure out why, but they never have."_

" _I see. And what is it precisely you want me to do?"_

" _If you happen to come across 'Enigma', try to solve the mystery and report it back to On-High and to me."_

"How long have we been out here on the Astral plane now? Isn't it dangerous to be here in the flesh?"

"For a mortal, yes, but it's fine for beings like you," the boy said with a little smile.

"But if you strayed from us, you wouldn't be able to find your way to your goal...or your way back. You'd be stranded here for eternity," the girl, a slip of a thing with silver hair that went to her shoulders, chittered with a laugh.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Lei answered all right...just not the other one. As to the other, it doesn't matter. We'll be out here as long as it takes."

"I suppose you're right. Ugh, overtime...I should have seen that this assignment would bring plenty of it."

"You're always complaining of overtime. We never have to worry about that stuff," Lei said, blinking owlishly, "But...you said you're looking for two beings, right? One of your kind and a mortal?"

"Yes. Though, when I sensed them, it would always feel like the energies would sometimes blend...as though they were one and the same."

"You didn't tell me that before," the boy grumbled.

"It isn't pertinent, Crono."

"Yes, it is! That means more than likely, a SoulBearer's involved. That explains everything!"

"SoulBearer?"

"Yeah! It's not real common, but not quite rare, either. Basically, it's when a mortal is carrying the soul of a divine being. That includes..." Crono trailed off.

William completed the sentence for him, "...That includes Reapers."

"Yeah, exactly."

Before anything else could be said, the trio could suddenly feel a fourth life energy in the "air" around them.

"It's our Shinigami," William whispered harshly, letting out a little gasp. Although he could feel the words in his mind and soul, he could not quite hear the voice speaking. But still, it felt _familiar_.

 _...come! Come! William-san, come! Please!_

"This energy," Lei said, "It's so clear and open...I think I can...no, I _know_ I can trace it back. I wonder if your kin is releasing energy on purpose."

"Definitely intentional," he said, "Whoever it is, he's acting like a beacon...so let's take advantage of it while we can."

The trio nodded to each other and set to work. The twins had the Reaper kneel, then touched their hourglasses to William's clippers, chanting softly as they focused their power. The deathscythe began to glow in a blue and silver light.

"Now...we go."

0000000000

As the trio forded through the astral plane, the words repeated in William's mind, and as they neared the destination, he began to hear a voice to go along with it.

 _Is that...? No, it cannot be. He and his partner died a long time ago...I cannot afford to think about that now. Thinking about the incident and them still...hurts too much..._

 _ **William-san! William-san, please! Please come, hurry! Hurry and help us!**_

"...ears! Spears! Use your Scythe and open the way in!" Crono cut in, "Lei, you sure this is the place?"

"Yes. This is a shock to me, too. It's another Earth, a long ways from where Spears came from...but this is definitely the destination."

The Reaper blinked, hearing the destination and opened the way with his Scythe, then asked, "So...what can we expect on this planetplane?"

"It's in North America, United States, year 2015...April 10. The place is the...dishroom of a university. Our perpetrator...is...that girl," Lei pointed to a woman that was short and stocky, wearing what looked like a uniform: blue top, brown pants, black shoes, hair in some kind of net, and a blue cap.

"I don't see the other one...she's a SoulBearer, all right," Crono stated.

Spears could hear a mental conversation going on.

 _What do you think you're doing?! You could be harmed!_

 _ **I'm going to help you, whatever it takes! If you can't reach him, then I'm going to bring him to you.**_

 _That's sweet of you, but what do you think would happen if people suddenly saw a Reaper in this world? As far as most people know, you all don't exist beyond Yana Toboso's writings and imagination! Even though I know better..._

 _ **I don't care! Sorry, but they wouldn't want you to endanger yourself by going out without training and companions, and you're running out of time. Didn't she go to sleep just yesterday...?**_

 _Exactly. That's why this time I'm going to ask my cousin to pull me into the astral plane and take me to the London Dispatch directly._

 _ **Deona! That's even worse-**_

William thought with a jolt of shock, _He called her Deona! This must be 'Enigma'!_

Spears stepped through the gate, making sure he could not be seen.

"So, _you're_ the one," he said, both out loud and into the woman's mind, now quite certain that she was capable of abilities of her own.

The woman's head snapped up, face painted in surprise, disbelief, then shock.

"Is it...is it you?" she said out loud, then shook her head and repeated, _"Is it you?"_

"Indeed. I am William T. Spears, Manager of London Dispatch in the Shinigami Dispatch Society."

Lei, from inside the gate, streamed information about the woman, only cursory facts, to Spears.

"Your name is Deona Lindholm, I see."

" _Yes, sir."_

 _How ironic. The mortal woman who tried to invade into my realm is Enigma herself._

"What I would like to know, Miss Lindholm, is why you have been attempting to intrude on our realm?"

Her face remained still, but her eyes were flustered, as were her emotions. _"I-intrude? I-I'm not trying to invade or anything...!"_

A second voice spoke, calmly but firmly cutting in. _**"William-san, please take care with her! She's autistic, and she means no harm to us!"**_

Now that Spears clearly heard the voice, he could identify it...and knew why it seemed familiar and painful.

It was Alan Humphries, a tragic Reaper from London Dispatch, inflicted with the Thorns of Death. He had been cut down by his own partner, Eric Slingby, in an incident where the older man had murdered 999 souls in an attempt to save his partner from the fatal curse.

After Eric's death at the hands of the demon Sebastian, it had been wondered what had happened to their souls. Now, they could confirm what had happened with one of them.

This...mortal was...

"You're Mr. Humphries's Soulbearer. This just made things a lot more complicated."

There was a pause in the conversation, then Spears said, "I'll ask this differently, then: Why have you been trying to barge into...get into our realm?"

" _To see you, Mr. Spears. I have a petition to make of you."_

It was just as everyone suspected: Deona's intent was to see William specifically. Most mortals that approached a Reaper in stories had only one thing on their minds: putting off a death or something similar.

"Before you ask anything, be aware that I cannot simply allow to live off-hand someone that's on the To-Die list," he stated.

" _No, that's not my intention, sir."_ She took a breath and continued, _"It's my mother, Margaret Dyhouse. She's got three cancers, and she's not long for this world. She's not too likely to be accepted into heaven, and hell's not likely to take her either. Limbo would be as bad as hell...there's one thing I can do for her."_ She raised her head and continued, _"Mr, Spears, sir, this might be presumptuous of me to ask, but I ask this: be the one to come and collect my mother's records, at the least...and if possible, see if she qualifies to become a Shinigami. Please, sir, I beg of you!"_ Tears ran down her cheeks in a way that was eerily familiar: it reminded him of how Alan cried at times, in similar situations.

The black-haired Reaper was surprised by this woman, even as he listened and saw her weep. Her request itself was, most definitely, out of the ordinary.

 _Does she even knows what she asks for? We are creatures made due to the sin of suicide, not Purgatory, and she wants to see if her mother can be made one of us?!_

The two astral children motioned with their staves and before his eyes, scenes from this woman's life played out before him, with both her voice and Alan's taking turns to speak. Spears had to admit, this method was almost as good, if not better, than piercing her to view Cinematic Records.

After Alan's death, then release from Eric's body, his soul had gone into the sky. But unlike the other 999 souls, his had slipped into the astral plane, and from there, it had wandered around, lost in time and space...until...a chance occurrence had caused his soul to enter Mortal Earth, far away from where he had started, in 1975.

 _My soul somehow got tangled up with hers, at birth or soon after...I doubt that we're the same soul, but it's hard to tell..._

 _ **I've always been alone...one way or the other...mom pretty much raised me alone, the male parent abused me, and so did the stepfather...**_

 _You should know, William-san...she's been on the To-Die list more than once._

" _ **How did she shatter the Reaper's scythe the first time?"**_ he asked Alan, making sure that it was said in a way she would not understand.

 _That...that was me. I know what her purpose in this life is...and I'm going to help her achieve it. William-san, please help her. She's too much like me._

Spears kept watching the stream of the woman's life, and saw for himself just what Alan was talking about...what "purpose" would drive the Shinigami soul to go so far.

"Before I answer one way or the other to your request," he said to Deona, who had shrugged off a co-worker that had seen her tears, "Why me?"

" _Because I know you. In this world, you and the others exist only in the form of an anime, manga and a fandom...to the minds of the general public. But I know better...I know the world within the story is a real one."_ The name of the story whispered in her mind: _Kuroshitsuji._

"Even here, that bloody infernal demon gets the top billing..." William grumbled, and thought for a moment as to how to handle this. He couldn't just blindly turn her down, not with her being Alan's SoulBearer.

" _ **Why doesn't she know how we came to be?"**_

 _I...well, I didn't want to give her any ideas...or motivation for committing suicide,_ Alan replied sheepishly, then his tone turned grave, _Besides, it wasn't until a very unique baptism happened that I started waking up._

" _ **Honestly."**_

" _But anyway, above all that, I know **you**. I know that **you** would handle the case impartially and professionally, with no bias in either direction...and that's the best that I can hope for."_

He sighed and said after a moment, "I give no promises, but I will do everything I can to carry out your request."

The woman was visibly relieved. _"Thank you, Mr. Spears, thank you!"_

"I do have one thing to ask in return. As you know, we Shinigami are no demons, but-"

He could hear within her thoughts something about balance and counterbalance in the universe, as she asked, _What would that be?_

"If I am able to grant your request...at the end of your life, I will come to you...to separate your soul from Mr. Humphries'. No doubt, On-High will be wanting his soul back. This way, he will be able to complete what he wanted to do as well."

" _That's fine with me. Alan really should be with his own kin...the Shinigami. I'm sure that he misses you and the others, too."_

"When the time comes, I will most likely collect you as well. If you continue on your current path, well...it will go well." He could easily see the possibility of this young woman becoming a Shinigami, even if her mother didn't possess that fate, but he would keep it to himself for now. Like Alan said, he didn't want to give her any motivation for committing suicide.

" _Again...thank you so much, Mr. Spears."_

0000000000

Once the trio returned, they went straight to Lei and Crono's master, a tall woman with black hair and black eyes, wielding a silver and blue Moebius staff.

"I see you came back...I take it that you were successful?"

"Yes...and we also solved the mystery of your 'Enigma' woman."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. It was the same one we were looking for."

The child-like guides touched their staves to hers and closed their eyes. The woman nodded and said, "So I see. This _is_ more complicated. I will take us to the proper management level, at once. Gather around me, and you close your eyes, Spears...the light might blind you."

He slammed them shut as best he could, even though the list pierced through them. The Reaper imagined that if he had not, he may well _have_ gone blind.

"Lady Millennia? Spears? Just what are you doing in my office?"

0000000000

Deona never knew exactly what was said between the group, not even when her mind tuned in on them. Although, at times, she did hear his voice, along with others.

" _Say what?! Our little troublemaker was a mortal?"_

" _Not any ordinary mortal, Knox. She never had malicious intent, quite the opposite. Because of the incident...I have a reap to do in America, in that planet-plane."_

 _A whistle. "Damn! Long-distance Reapin'! Jus' wha' kinda person **is** she?"_

" _Language, Knox, and to answer you, she's a SoulBearer...Humphries-"_

 _Grell gasped. "William, how did sweet **Alan** wind up all the way over **there?** "_

" _Since her birth, or close to it, Sutcliffe."_

" _Man...she's bearin' his soul. Then tha' means somone's got Eric's ou' in that astral place-"_

" _Unfortunately, no. I thought of that and had his records checked post death while talking to Upper Management. Slingby's soul location **is** confirmed...he's in Hell."_

 _Sighs could be heard._

" _I wanna go see them, boss...this bird and th' one she called you for."_

" _Me too, William!"_

" _Somehow, I knew you would...and it's her mother. Very well. Then this is a group assignment, but make no mistake, **I** will do the actual reap."_

0000000000

On the morning of April 13, 2015, William, Ronald and Grell came into the house in America, having made use of Millennia and crossed space and time, just to do this special reap.

The group of Reapers entered one of the bedrooms, where Deona slept in a small bunk bed, with a sheet over her body.

"Is tha' her?" Ronald asked.

"That's the girl, Deona."

Grell came closer to her and gasped at what she saw.

A second person rose from the sleeping woman and sat up.

"Allie!"

Alan shushed the red reaper and said, "Not so loud! She's had a hard time sleeping the past few days, though she never admits it."

"Sorry. I wish I could hug you, but...you're not exactly solid right now, are you?"

"No. But...I wound up in the best place, so to speak. If it had been someone else, I don't think I would have been treated with such warmth or understanding. Besides...we're alike in a number of ways."

"Humphries...Alan," William cut in, "You know why we're here."

"Her mother, Margaret. Is it finally time?"

"Yes. We have been here all along since Friday evening, but we waited for the two preachers to come and leave before we could act."

"I know. Deona could feel you. She even invited you in, though I guess she thought it was you at the door."

"I was, though she couldn't see me. But I knew we couldn't collect until now."

"Good. She's been...in a coma since that day, as you know."

"Then let's get to work."

"I'll wake her!" Ronald said and shook her.

"No. Let her sleep. She wakes at 7:00 every morning anyway."

"Aw, alright."

The group then silently left for the second bedroom.

In the hospital bed was an old woman with short, gray hair, on a respirator. As Alan had said, she was completely unresponsive, in a coma.

Ronald winced at the sight.

"She's been like this since _when_?"

"Since Friday morning. The pain in her became extreme Thursday night, and then she slowly went into the coma."

Ronald nodded and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Wha' th' hell happened to her to cause this?"

"Among other things? Three cancers: kidney, breast and bone."

He nodded and said in a soft voice, "Senpai...do it, please."

In another room, there were footsteps, and Alan hurried back and saw that Deona had gotten up and checked the clock. It was 6:50 a.m.

 _I feel uneasy. I should check on mom..._

 _ **No. Go back to sleep, Deona...you need it,** Alan replied, **You need the rest for the days to come**._

 _Okay..._

Almost ten minutes later, Cinematic reels flowed in the room with an eerie light, and William began to carefully examine the record.

"Margaret Louise Dyhouse...birth name Margueritte Louise Toffton...birth date: March 17, 1946. Birth place recorded as Rocky Mount, North Carolina...birth parents in dispute...four children: three brothers and one daughter...assisted with crews in Apollo 13 incident...worked with various people with disabilities across the planet, as a lay-parent advocate..."

Other events were played, both good and bad. Some were of only Margaret's life, others overlapped with the daughter's.

By the time that Deona's alarm on her phone went off, Spears had decreed, "Final note: Died in state of grace."

There were sniffs in the room and, for once, William didn't tell them to compose themselves as Reapers.

"We should go...she will be in here very soon."

"Yeah."

0000000000

Deona woke up, shut off the alarm, and went right into her mother's room, thinking that perhaps she was imagining the uneasy feeling and the rest earlier.

Instantly, she knew there was something off.

Her mother wasn't breathing at all.

She stared for just a moment, to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her, and then shouted, just as loud as she could, _"Rick, Shawn! Get in here right now! She's gone!"_

There was running, and one of the brothers, Shawn, ran into the room, and saw exactly what she did.

" _Rick, get in here right now!"_

The taller brother, Richard, stumbled into the nearby room and saw exactly what they had and started issuing orders and calling the hospice.

Their mother was dead.

0000000000

The following week, Deona could hear Spears say, _"Sutcliff, just what the devil are you doing?"_

" _I'm making plushie dolls, for **her.** They're of Alan and her daughter."_

There was nothing more for quite a while. After all, soon after was the big revelation of Chapter 105...and the big truth behind the creation of the Shinigami.


End file.
